Pre-Parent Judgement Apology

Here is my public Pre-Parent Judgment Apology!! If you have kids, you may understand some of these! If you don’t have kids, let me warn you now… STOP JUDGING PARENTS!!! It’ll save you from putting that foot in your mouth like I am now!! I’m saving you the I’M SORRY’s I’m about to give a lot of!!! Before kids you think you got this figured out and then a baby comes along to show you you don’t have control of anything!! Don’t read this if you’re looking to nit pick and start things!! It’s a fun read!! All parents have done the “I said I wouldn’t do this as a parent and now here I am!!” AT LEAST ONCE!!! Here is a list of my own personal experiences!! Some funny, some serious!!

I said, “I won’t let my kid watch videos on my phone!! Especially out in public! I’ll entertain and interact with my child!” HAHA ya ok!!! They have this feature, Guided Access, on iPhones now where you can lock the screen of your phone so the little ones can’t click out of the video a million times!! It’s my best friend!! Whether it’s because I need 2 seconds to finish something, I’m trying to have my first adult conversation of the day, it’s an hour past nap time, or they are JUST AS TIRED OF ME as I am them!! Here is my phone sweetie! Which movie do you want to watch at dinner in public tonight!?! && all y’all giving me that disgusted side eye when I hand my child my phone, YOU’RE WELCOME, now you can enjoy dinner yourself without a screaming baby next to you!! I’M SORRY I JUDGED ANY OF YOU MOMS BEFORE!!!

“I’m going to breastfeed” – NO ONE told you how hard it was!! Emotionally or Physically!! Before pregnancy I didn’t hear much about breastfeeding other than like hey that’s just what you do!! 🤷‍♀️ It’s a natural thing! Babies just do it and somehow I never saw it or noticed it before! They also don’t tell you there’s a chance you WON’T be able to breastfeed! I think that’s just as hard to accept when you grow up thinking, oh that’s just the thing your body knows to do! And now my body isn’t keeping up and providing!!! Penelope had to be put on formula while in the hospital for medical reasons! I tried to keep pumping and supplementing but my body couldn’t keep up! I would literally sit on the couch for days pumping and feeding pumping and feeding! I didn’t do anything but pump and feed and still would only get drops! I remember crying hysterically while holding my newborn and feeding her a formula bottle! I hate that there is shaming on moms for formula feeding!! Heck shaming on moms for ANYTHING!!! That’s what killed me!!! Thinking I wasn’t doing what was “right”!!

“I won’t use one of those backpack leashes! I’ll keep up with my kid!” 1. The second your kid learns to walk there is no stopping them!! Their little legs are faster than you think!! They don’t want to just sit in a stroller! They want to run and zig zag and jump through the store! I don’t want her running away while I’m grabbing something off the shelf!! 2. I don’t trust people!! Not in the slightest! The amount of people that feel comfortable coming up and touching all over my baby while I’m holding her is shocking!! The amount of kidnappings I hear in the news is sickening!! Judge me for having a backpack leash on her!!! But I’d rather have her a little safer than see your ugly looks!!! 🤷‍♀️ I saw a tweet a few days ago and gahhh I wish I would’ve screen shot it!! IF YOU ARE THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS, PLEASE REACH OUT TO ME BECAUSE I WANT TO GIVE YOU THE CREDIT!!!!! She wrote something along the lines of: You put a leash on your dog so they don’t run away, well I don’t want my child to run away either!!!  I thought it was funny and perfect!!

“I’m going to make those adorable themed breakfast, lunch, and dinners!” I still aspire to do that one day!!! I still pin cute ideas on my Pinterest!! But who actually has time for all of that?!? I’m lucky if my child eats 2 bites before throwing it on the ground trying to feed it to the dog!! 🤦‍♀️ Plus, did I mention how hard it is to cook dinner without a toddler pulling at your leg and trying to reach up and touch the hot stove while I’m cooking to start with!!

An overhead shot of a tray of baked cookies in the shape of cats, ghosts and witches

“I won’t co-sleep” – This is another one of those mom judgements I got stuck in my head! Goodness the amount of mom judgements you get told when you become pregnant is insane!! We didn’t co sleep always but we do occasionally now!! She started off in her rock and sleeper and then her crib! Around 5 months old she got so sick and had to sleep propped up! Would start coughing so hard that she’d stop breathing; so we’d have to have her next to us to immediately help her sit up and calm down! That’s where it all started! We have a DockATot that she sleeps in which we feel helps with the safety of co sleeping! I love my little cuddle bug and want to enjoy her next to me while I can!! She’s only this little for a short time!!! We need to stop telling new moms HOW to raise her baby! Yes, i’ve done it too, it slips! Share your experiences but make sure you clarify: That’s how it worked for MY baby!! MAYBE it’ll work with yours too!! BUT YOU DO YOU MOM!!!

I’m sorry for any advice I gave to any mom before I ACTUALLY became a mom!!!

“My child won’t be rude!” – I got annoyed when kids hit and were rude to adults! Teach your kids manners! HA My child is the sassiest 1 year old I’ve ever met! I know all one year olds are to an extent! But my child has the disgusted duck face downnnnn for every little thing!! No matter how much I tell her to be nice and make sweet faces! She is extremely expressive and I can’t stop it!! It’s just her face 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😉 Kids go through a hitting and kicking phase! They are learning boundaries and that cause and effect of flinging their arms and legs!! It’s NOT because you’re a bad parent!!! I get it now!!! I’M SORRY!!!

“I’m not going to be one of those helicopter moms” Yep!! I’m definitely one of those!!! I want to know where she’s at at all times! I don’t do it to be annoying, I don’t do it so she never gets hurt, she needs to learn it’s ok to fall and get up! But I’m making sure she doesn’t get into your stuff, break any of your stuff and I’m keeping a close eye on our surroundings to make sure no one does anything to her!! I’m a mama bear! I’m a helicopter mom and I’m proud of it!! I want the world to know I’m watching her constantly!! There are too many crazies out there NOT to be a helicopter mom these days!!

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“Your kid is crying, get them under control! Get them to stop!!” Again, I’M SORRY!!! Kids don’t cry just because they are tired, just because they want something! Sometimes they cry just because they can! Could you imagine trying to figure out this crazy big world around you, feeling like you need something but don’t know what and can’t ask for it?! Ya I’d get overwhelmed and frustrated too!! We need to be more patient and understanding with kids!! Don’t tell me you’ve never had a bad day, a day where you just cried for no reason!! My kid isn’t like this every day!! I’m sorry you just happened to be around when she had her moment! Now, don’t get me wrong!! I’m not going to just let her sit there and cry! You will see me trying my hardest to cheer her up and get her to stop! But work with me while I do it!

I’M SORRY!!! I’m sorry for any shaming, judging, commenting and thinking I could totally be the perfect parent!! I’m sorry for thinking my child wouldn’t make messes! She wouldn’t be that crying kid in a restaurant! I’d feed her healthy foods, never sugar!! We could literally go on and on and on with the million things we said “We Would’ve Done” or “Would NEVER Do”!! &&&& Now look where we are!!!

I became the mom that MY child needed! I became the mom that worked for our family!!! That worked for our lifestyle!!

I wish I could go back and tell all those mom’s I’M SORRY and tell them HOW AWESOME they are doing!!!! I love being in a grocery store and a mom walks by while my child is throwing a fit and I get that head nod, like I’ve been there, I got you! THANK YOU!! It’s reassuring and we need more Mom SUPPORT!!!

What are some things you swore you’d never do as a parent, but now here you are?!

I’M SORRY,

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